We all know her…. She is self-sufficient, strong, and put together. But….. she doesn't have a sense of herself, what she feels, or who she knows herself to be. Maybe this is even you to a certain degree.
At some point along the way, she has lost her voice. We use our voice to be heard, to make a statement, to ask for what we need, and express our authentic self.
Do you find you tend to defer to others or second guess yourself much of the time?
Do you feel hindered to show up and be seen for who you are?
Do you feel confident in owning your voice except for specific situations?
Many times, our voice has been hidden or shut down through certain life experiences. For instance, a child who grows up in a home where they are ignored and told their feelings aren’t real or true, learns not trust their own experiences ~ that others know what’s best for them rather than what they know to be best for themselves.
When someone who has lost their voice feels strongly about something, they may begin to question themselves that maybe they are just “making it up” or “making more of things” than are really true. This is the person has lost connection with their voice.
A lost voice can show up in a variety of ways:
Lack of confidence
Anxiety or depression
Struggling to parent
An unhealthy relationship with food, body and exercise
Having an affair
…and many more
How do you find your voice when it seems lost?
Take on habits that help you become more self-reflective like journaling, meditating, talking to trusted others. Develop a routine of checking in with yourself throughout the day to have a sense of what you may be thinking and feeling. Scan your body to see if you are holding any tension anywhere that you may not be aware of.
KNOW YOUR ENVIRONMENT
Do you know if you feel safe with the person you are talking to? Are they someone you trust to reveal your true self? Or do you need to develop a firm boundary with that person? Notice that your boundary is to feel safe with a particular person and not to be used as a defense in general to stay “hidden” with others.
KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES
Know where you stop and the other person begins. Be sure to not fall into unnecessary care taking, deferring or giving in to another person.
USE IT, OWN IT AND EMBRACE IT
Speak up when something doesn’t feel right to you, when you need to let someone know how you are doing or what you may need from them. Be authentic and present in your life, both with yourself and with others.
THIS is who you are, your authentic self. Show up, be seen and let your voice be heard.
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